This blog is for those 18 and older.

Friday, June 16, 2023


Hey ya’all.  Great to see all your bright and shining faces out there today!  Sorry I was MIA on my last blog day…somehow, I spaced it out.  Well, I say “somehow”, but I can tell you exactly what happened…Kickstarter and family business managed to do a brain-wipe on me. 

Okay, let me start again so this makes sense.  Nope, there is no connection between the BMG Kickstarter campaign and my Monk…er…Family Business…those are just the two large projects that are sucking down my time right now like a chocolate junkie with a double-fudge shake. Hell, I thought a Kickstarter campaign had a lot of moving parts…it ain’t got nuthin’ on this project to try to sell off a piece of family land.  Not a ducking thing!!! 

At first glance, this land appears to have 3 live souls on title, along with 6 deceased souls…God rest ‘em. Then, as you work your way deeper into the family tree, those 6 deceased and 3 breathing souls turn into 11 departed and 18 drawing breath. Now you throw in a little (or a lot of) bureaucracy and there are 25 birth and death records to find on people who were born across multiple states, born at home, and some possibly beamed down, from what we can tell. 

We have families who have not a living soul that we can find, families who seem to have an aversion to keeping records of any kind, families who appear to be living off-the-grid, and families with a strong affinity to marrying someone new every two years. Holy Ducking Batman! 

Ever tried to stand before someone in the vital records office and try to get them to understand that you need your deceased aunt’s death certificate because she willed the piece of land on this here deed to your mother (also passed as shown on this here death certificate), and you are now the heir (as shown on this here birth certificate) to that property…if you can prove Auntie and Mother have crossed over? 

Don’t try it.  Logic doesn’t work when applied to the rules at the vital statistics office!  They just give you their not-so-resting-bitch-face and tell you that doesn’t prove you have a need for the document. Apparently (according to the woman with the cranky attitude), that little piece of magic requires an actual court order that you can get by filing a probate, or an immediate family member.  Well…that’s what we are trying to do…but we need the death certificate for auntie in order to file a probate proving her death to the title company, and her children seem to have been raptured from the planet. 

So…can’t file a probate to establish our right to inherit until we have all of the death certs, but can’t get one of the death certs until we get a court order which they indicated could be done with the probate. And there are only so many times you can explain to them that you cannot get her kids to get it for you because…THEY HAVE BEEN RAPTURED! 

Well, that’s the kind of crap I’ve been dealing with on the monkey business side…that and the typical family nonsense that just seems to follow me like a black cloud tied to my belt. 

The Kickstarter, on the other hand, has been more fun and more productive, but one hell of a lot of work. Dani Petrone and I have been curating lots of different kinds of merchandise to come up with some really super rewards for our backers.  Going to be some really fun stuff!  So be sure you save your pennies and keep an eye out next month for some links to the pre-launch page when it opens up. We are planning some discounted “early bird” specials that will only last a short while, so you want to be there choosing your tier on Day One! 

Oh…and before I go…remember those leather bookmarks I mentioned in my last blog? The ones with the BMG logo on them? Uh-huh…uh-huh…you are gonna love ‘em!!!  They are freaking fabulous. 

In the meantime, hang in there, Cupcake. Summer’s here and those of us in the Valley of the Hotter ‘N Hell are about be thrust into the blast furnace.  Hang onto your hats and your iced tea…or Margarita, as the case may be. 

Well, that’s my story, redonkulous and recurring, and I’m stickin’ to it. Hang on tight now ‘cuz we’re gonna go real, real fast!

Love ya,  

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  1. OMG girl, I'm missing all the goings on lately! Hang in there!!! It sounds like I need to send you more Effen cherry vodka!!! LOL.

  2. Hey lady - I’ve been through annoying family stuff similar to this. It’s infuriating. I would suggest a visit to your Congress Rep’s office to help break through the damn - I mean dam.

    1. I've considered that for another issue we are dealing with, but that's not a bad idea or this one...and it might just happen. Just craziness. Hope you are doing well, Thanks for the suggestion!