Hi guys! Good to see you again. Well, here it is blog day and once again
Kayce spent her Thursday night trolling the internet for a blog topic. And while trolling on the internet, I came across
some pickup lines, so I thought you might enjoy some of the absolute jewels I
managed to find. There are sweet ones, weird
ones, cute ones, creepy ones, lines that you hope will never work, and lines
that just might. So pick out your fav’s
and least fav’s and let me know what you think.
This first one
seemed strange until I thought it through.
I’m thinking that’s
not the real reason. My mother warned me
about wearing patent leather shoes!
The next two are
for those who are hungry…
Not exactly the
smoothest or the most creative, but there is a promise of food…and kisses. Don’t forget the kisses. :-)
Here’s another one
I hadn’t heard before…
Okay, I’ll have to think about that one. I was going to dis it, but when I read it out
loud, I found it actually had merit. Can
I get back to you on that?
Men, please don’t try this out in public. You might get away with it at home, though.
Sure you are…and
if you aren’t careful, the tip of my…uh…left heart is going to put your eye
These next lines
are quite possibly the worst ever! There
is no way in hell that body parts or bodily functions belong in a pickup line. These rank right up there with proposing to a
woman by peeing your proposal in the snow.
Farts and diarrhea
come eventually in every love affair, but please don’t use these to kick-start
a new relationship. I think it’s an automatic
defense for murder.
If you were a booger I'd
pick you first.
My love for you is like
diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
Did you fart, ‘cause you
blew me away.
Let's get out of here.
These next three
would require a certain kind of girl…probably the kind you couldn’t take home
to mom. J
Baby, I'm no Fred
Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
If you were a transformer,
you'd be a HOT-obot, and your name would be Optimus Fine.
Excuse me, but does this
smell like chloroform to you?
Oh wait…no, I
think that last one got lumped into the wrong grouping…that one’s kinda
creepy. Kick that one to the curb. No pickup line should ever include the word
chloroform…it’s just plain wrong.
This next set of
pickup lines might actually work. They
range from clever to sweet. I’d fall for
any one of these as long as the guy wasn’t a troll.
And these three
are definite winners!
If I were to ask you out on
a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
I bet you $20 you're gonna
turn me down. (If you’re like me, you’ll
have to think this one through.)
You see my friend over
there? [Point to friend] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
I'm sorry, were you talking
to me? [No] Well then, please start.
When God made you, he was
Because of you, I laugh a
little harder, cry a little less, and smile a lot more.
You're so beautiful that
you made me forget my pickup line. (Winner!)
There is something wrong
with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it.
I may not be a genie, but I
can make your dreams come true.
I'm fighting the urge to
make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
If I had to choose between
breathing or loving you, I would say "I love you" with my last
What woman doesn’t
long to be the happiest woman on earth?
What woman doesn’t hope that one day all her dreams will come true? And what woman doesn’t want a man who will
love her until his last breath? After
all, that’s why we write books. Men –
Okay, so that one
reminds me of a Butterscotch Martini Girls night on the town. You’ve never lived until you’ve gone to a
cowboy bar to ogle cowboy butts and eat s’mores, followed by a field trip to
the adult toy store with that crew! LOL
These next two are
actually some of my favorites, but it takes the right kind of guy to deliver
these lines. He has to be tall and
handsome and suave…or she might actually end up with his money!
See what I mean about
how those have to come from the right guy?
Anything less than perfection and the tide turns to pathetic and he’s
toast…and she’s got the money.
And here are the slightly
desperate, but just enough that they might work…
Okay, girls, I’
gonna warn you here…DO NOT fall for any of these…please…
Life without you would be
like a broken pencil...pointless.
Are you going to kiss me or
do I have to lie to my diary?
Be unique and different,
say yes. (This one turns fabulous if he’s fabulous.)
Rejection can lead to
emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to
physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even
death! So for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES! (And then run like the
Is your last name
Gillette? Because you are the best a man
Is your name "Swiffer"?
'Cause you just swept me off my feet.
Do you work at Dick's? ‘Cause you're sporting the goods.
I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me?
Is your last name Campbell?
Cause you're "mmmm... good!"
You fall for any
one of those lines, you marry the guy…and that’s the one that’s gonna buy you
vacuum cleaners, toasters, mops and cleaning supplies for Christmas. Maybe even a set of left-handed golf clubs…and
you’re not even left-handed…he is. RUN!
This next one will
work only because it will take you by surprise and make you laugh out loud.
And for the
rednecks out there…
Sigh! Okay, I love “redneck”, but that one is a
little too redneck—even for me. Best let
this one stay in the closet. The girl
that falls for this one is probably riding an elevator that doesn’t go all the
way to the top.
Okay, this one is
just ugly and can be taken so many different ways…guys, DON’T DO IT!
I told you so…that
one ain’t gonna end well.
Now, I think it’s
time for my absolute favorite. This one is
extremely flattering and has just the right twist of humor without the cheesy
And you’re in for
a free drink…how can either of you lose with that one?!
Okay, what’s your
worst or best pickup line? We’d all love
to hear it! And what we really want to
know is…did it work?
That’s my story, sad
and sassy, and I’m stickin’ to it. Hold
on tight now ‘cuz we’re gonna go real, real fast!