WHAT THE HELL DOES “NEVER” MEAN, ANYWAY?

Hey gang, how are ya’all?  Hope everyone had a fabulous Easter and that you’re enjoying your April immensely!

So, I’m here today to ask a question that has been weighing heavily on me.  What the hell does “never” mean?  And why does it not appear to mean the same thing to everyone?  Maybe you’ve noticed it, maybe you haven’t.  But I have, and it’s driving me freaking crazy!

Okay, let me explain what I mean.

Have you set up a new online account using Chrome as your browser recently?  If so, you may recall that you provided an appropriate User ID, and supplied a secure and “secret” password.  Do you remember Chrome asking if you want it to remember your password for you?

Yeah, I see you nodding.

So…if you’re like me, you are paranoid about ANYONE knowing your password—even Chrome.  Especially Chrome.  Like me, you hit the option “Never Save Password”.  Did you ever think about what that meant?

If we are talking about one password (this password), then the option doesn’t make sense to me.  If I’m setting up a new password, it is only a “new” password one time.  And most sites will not allow you to reuse that same password again.  So, when would “Never Save Password” ever apply in the case where it is singular and referring only to this password?  Never, by its very nature, implies the situation will repeat itself and you must decide now for all future iterations.

Are you following me?  I hope so.

On the flip side, what if they used poor grammar and really meant to say, “Never Save Passwords”?  In that case, I would expect to never see the question again.  How long?  NEVER!  NEVER EVER!

Alas, I have seen the question every stinking time I set up a new account.  So, is the error in the grammar of the option or is there another meaning implied?  What does NEVER mean to Google?  Exactly.

Because I can tell you it doesn’t seem to be the same as what it means to me.

Here’s another example—junk mail.  Ever find important email from someone (in my case, my publisher) in your Junk Mail folder?  More than once?  Like a million times?

Yeah, me too.  I click on the email and select the option “Not Junk” and it gets moved to my Inbox, only to have the next email from the same sender go to the Junk Mail folder again.  Okay, I get it.  I didn’t give them any rules beyond this one particular piece of email.

So, the next time I find an important message in the Junk Mail folder, I now select “Never block messages from this sender”.  There’s that word again—never.  At this point, any reasonable person would assume the function that manages this option has the ability to never block these messages.  Why offer if they can’t do it?

Did it work?

Noooo…it did not.  Email from that same sender at that same email address from the same IP address will again show up in your Junk Mail folder.  It is inevitable.  And you will again be offered the same ability to Never block messages from this sender.

Seriously?

So, what the hell does “never” mean to the people who developed these functions?  Does it mean maybe never?  Sometimes?  Intermittently?  Always?  Or only if the moon is green and the sky turns purple on a day of the week that ends in “m”?

Because it appears that ALL of these definitions apply—at least, in someone’s world.  Not in mine, but in someone’s.

And I can guarantee you that Chrome will offer yet one more time and your email will end up in Junk Mail yet again on the day that a green moon in a purple sky shines over a day of the week ending in “m”!

Who the hell thunk that up?

That’s my story, quirky and questioning, and I’m stickin’ to it.  Hang on tight now, ‘cuz we’re gonna go real, real fast!

Love ya,

Kayce