This coming Sunday is Valentine’s Day. For many, this is the day their spouses will gift them with chocolates in heart shaped boxes and red roses and romance--perhaps a special dinner at their favorite restaurant. Or a well-planned surprise weekend away.
This is not the norm in my house and never has been. My DH’s idea of romance is doing an oil change or replacing the brakes on my car. His idea of romance is being home every night (he once turned down a job driving trucks cross country because he didn’t want to be from home (and me?) for that many days). His idea of romance is providing for the family.
And you know what? I’m okay with that. I know he loves me and yes, he proves it every day (and seriously, there is a difference between romance and love). Maybe that’s why I read and write romances, because that sweep me off my feet romance is not part of my life. Truthfully? I don’t need to be swept off my feet. I’m too practical for that and while I love roses (preferably yellow) and chocolates, I would probably have a cow if money was spent on flowers and candy when the electric bill or the mortgage was due. I am happy with just a card (my DH is really good at picking out cards that make me go all misty-eyed).
Give me stability instead. Give me the fact that I know he’ll be home every night. Give me support in my writing endeavors. Give me laughter (which he does). Hold my hand when I’m feeling blue and let me know you’re there and always will be.
We’ve been married 40 years now, been together 41. We’ve raised a son and sent him off into the world to make his own way, hopefully remembering the lessons we taught him. We’ve weathered many storms and upheavals—two hip surgeries and broken ribs (his), a cancer scare many years ago (mine), job losses and home repairs. There’s a wonderful scene in Yours, Mine, and Ours (the original version) where Henry Fonda is explaining to Lucille Ball’s daughter what love really is and you know, he’s right. It isn’t all candy and flowers and fireworks…it’s the every day things…dentist appointments and buying ground beef instead of filet mignon. It’s making compromises for your partner or your children. It’s knowing, at the end of the day, that special someone is there.
Happy Valentine’s Day! Stay well! Stay safe! And remember to spread kindness wherever you go!