I ONLY LIKE THE WOMAN IN THE BEDROOM!

 

Hey, gang, how the hell are ya?  Doing good here, just busy as all get out trying to work my way through Kickstarter and now BackerKit. But I’m getting there! 

So, today I wanted to tell you about what I faced last week at home…a dog.  To be specific, a little “wack-job” of a dog that can’t weigh even 20 pounds.  He’s (I think) a chihuahua / Jack Russell cross and is crazy as a goat that’s been loosed in an LSD lab.  Seriously!  The dog is a freak. Nothing this animal does makes sense. 

Okay, let me back up.  Here’s a cartoon picture of the little guy from a couple Christmases ago.  I know…he’s cute. Don’t let that fool you. He’s not all there, and he's a bad judge of character.  He actually belongs to my son and DIL, and he’s a total mommy’s boy…and the biggest fraidy cat I’ve ever seen. His name is Zeus.  I think they were hoping he would live up to that, but I honestly don’t see that ever happening. 

Anyway, here is where being a poor judge of character comes in…Zeus is afraid of me. Terrified, actually.  Or at least that is how it would appear to the casual observer. But the truth of the matter is…the dog just ain’t right.  He’s so terrified of me that he won’t let me catch him to go outside, so we have to leave his leash on him the whole time he is here…because he’s not smart enough to know that just because he’s under the bed, the leash is still out there where that woman can get to it. 

I have never abused the poor little thing, nor have I even threatened him and no one in the family can figure out why he has fixated on me. But Zeus has been part of the family for…hell, I think about eight years, and yet you would think every time he sees me that he is seeing some big, hairy monster for the very first time ever. They pull into the driveway, and he gets out of the car all excited to be here and I step out the front door and say, “Hi”, and he freaks the hell out. It’s the same routine every time and is so funny and weird that it has become the family joke that Zeus loves going to gramma’s house until he learns who lives there…because clearly, no one has ever told him before who lives at this house. 

Recently, he’s surprised us all, as he’s begun to warm up to me—well, sort of. His mom and dad will bring him and his sister, Zoe, by and leave them with me to babysit for a few days. Zoe…no problem. She’s in my lap the minute they are gone and, while she will cry a little bit over them leaving, she does great with me. 

Zeus, on the other hand, needs time to warm up to this stranger he’s clearly never seen before ever in his whole life.  Who could be so heartless as to expect a sensitive young man like him to just jump into the lap of a perfect stranger?! 

Well, the newest thing is that within an hour of his parents leaving, a switch flips in his brain.  He spends the first hour he’s here cowering behind a chair, peeking out to see if I’ve left yet. Then he just can’t stand it anymore and when he sees me sit down in the recliner in my room and Zoe getting all the pets, here he comes, launching himself into my lap. Scared the bejeebies outta me the first time he did it.  I saw him flying at me and worried that he'd finally snapped. 

So, once in my lap, he’s as happy as can be…stays glued to my side the rest of the day.  I sit, he’s in my lap.  I sit at my desk to work, he’s right behind me in the recliner…we are best buds…in my room, for the remainder of that day. 

Then he sleeps... 

Apparently, when he sleeps, his brain does a “clear storage” operation and he’s the living embodiment of 50 First Dates. I go to get them out of their kennel, and he is cowering in the back, avoids me like the plague all the way to the door, then hides behind a chair the minute I take his lead off and snap the short leash on him.  Yes, he still has to drag the leash because friendship is a very fleeting thing with this wackadoodle. 

This photo is the morning after he has just spent the entire day following me and laying in my lap.  Now, all this said, keep in mind that I do spend most of my day in my bedroom, working—either in the bedroom recliner or at my desk.  If I move into the living room mid-day, all bets are off…the dog that has just been in my lap all morning is now terrified of me again. I go to the bedroom, we are buddies.  Move back to the living room later and I’m dead to him. His friendship seems to be very location-specific…again, only with me. 

We have tried to sort it out and the only thing we can come up with is that he really only likes the woman in the bedroom.  Apparently, the woman in the living room is a terrifying, mean person that is NOT to be trusted. 

Have I mentioned yet that he is NOT right?

Well, that’s my story, weird and wacky, and I’m stickin’ to it. Hang on tight now ‘cuz we’re gonna go real, real fast!

Love ya,  

 

Did you miss the Butterscotch Martini Girl Kickstarter? Worried about what new items we have added that you may have missed? You can still get in on the fun and pick up some great items either by backing a tier or choosing ala carte! Go to the BackerKit platform NOW at the link below, as you only have a short time and some of the new items are limited quantity only. When they’re gone, they’re gone.

COWBOY CRUSH CAMPAIGN ON BACKERKIT

WOO HOO…HI!!! (See me waving wildly.)

Well, it’s been a while since I blogged here on HEAT, and I am sooo glad to be back.  I have missed you guys so much!

For those of you who don't know, I stepped away from the writing for a few years to take care of my deaf mother who was struggling with dementia during the pandemic. It was a really tough time, and mom did pass in October of 2021. But I have it on good authority that she’s now having an absolute ball bossing my brother around, organizing skits and plays in Heaven, and beating all her old buddies at Texas Hold ‘Em.

 As that chapter of our lives closes, it is now time for mom and I both to move forward and kick up some dirt in the next phase of our existence. So, that said, I’m back on my feet and back in the writing saddle—stronger, healthier, and ready to rock and roll…or country swing, as the case may be.

Which means I have a new book coming out. This one is a bit of a departure from my normal romantic comedies, in that it is a nonfiction book about my time with Mom...a love story of a different type, if you will. It’s written in the same snarky tone as my fiction novels, while dealing with the weightier subject matter of caring for a dramatic deaf woman with dementia…and trust me, she was a drama queen! 

Between the heavy subject matter and my smart-ass way of retaining my sanity in the midst of a whirlpool of chaos, it becomes a bit of a roller-coaster ride that I hope you will share with me when it comes out in October. I will be announcing the release date and a pre-order sometime in the next week…watch for it here and on my Facebook page!

https://www.facebook.com/KayceLassiterBooks/

I also want to give you just a little peek at something that’s new at my home since we last chatted. There is a new cat in my house—Oliver. (Although he thinks his name is…“Dammit, Oliver!”)

He’s an orange tabby who swings from sweet-and-cuddly-cherub to demon-child-spawn-from-hell…hence, the appended name. My grandson and I were standing in the driveway chatting one day when this little orange fur-ball (about six weeks old) came running out of nowhere, screaming at the top of his lungs with his tail stuck straight up in the air as he ran back and forth between us—as if we couldn’t see or hear him and he was beating through a block wall from another dimension to get our attention. 

I snatched him up on one of his hysterical passes by me and he immediately went into frantic air-biscuit-making mode as he continued to scream for help. Our hearts were immediately hooked, and it took about fifteen seconds for us to realize he was now a part of the family.

Had I known at the time that this brazen, loud, pushy little guy would grow into such an energetic, tenacious devil-cat, I might have thought twice. 

Oh, who am I kidding? He was freaking adorable and tiny and brave as hell—and hungry. A guy that determined to survive deserves a home with three hots and a cot. There was no turning him away.

But now he’s grown into Dammit, Oliver! And as I write this blog, I’m sitting cross-legged in my big old recliner with my computer in my lap. Dammit, Oliver! has also wedged himself into my lap, beneath my computer, and is working hard to snag my wrists by reaching through and swiping at me from under the front of my computer as his tail jerks and waves over the top of the computer from the back.

Seriously? 

Talk about a writer’s block!

Well, folks, that’s a bit of an update from the Kayce Lassiter camp. I’m tickled as hell to be back. Looking forward to hanging with ya’all again and sharing our books and our journeys as we pull on our big girl boots with the pointy toes and kick down the doors to new chapters in our lives.  Be sure to sign up for my new mailing list below, and climb on board in the shotgun seat!  Hugs to everyone and wishes for a Fabulous Friday. Hmmm…that has a nice ring to it.  😊  (I’ll have to see what I can do with that.)

So…that’s my story, catty and crazy, and I’m stickin’ to it.  Hang on tight now ‘cuz we’re gonna go real, real fast!

Love ya,

Kayce

 

Be sure to sign up for Kayce’s newsletter and get a couple of free e-books at: 

https://subscribepage.io/wnOodI

Note:  If you already have the free books, sign up anyway so you don’t miss any shenanigans—and be sure to forward the link to all your friends who might want to join us.    

REMINDER TO REVIEW.

Hey gang, I'm on the run, but popping in real quick to post a gentle reminder to everyone.

Hope everyone has a fun and fabulous weekend ahead!

That's my story, true and terrific, and I'm stickin' to it.  Hang on tight now, 'cuz we're gonna go real, real fast!

Hugs.

Kayce

The Unknowns of Eastern Europe…

I recently returned with jet lag from a tour of Eastern Europe, Germany, Czech Republic, Slovakia (home of the handsome professional cyclist, Peter Sagan), Hungary, and Austria.  It was a fantastic trip, all the history, sites, food, and culture.  We all know that’s what can be enjoyable in a foreign tour.

I’ll tell you a few things people don’t usually comment on, serious and not-so-serious.

The fields in the northern countries are covered with corn, sunflowers, and solar panels.

The toilet paper is like a strip of Bounty…not soft.

Some water closets (toilets) require a fee.

Prague and other cities have a scooper person following the horse carriages.

Wine is served with all meals!

Hot men own wineries.  Their favorite wine is red.

Eating and drinking on a river boat in Budapest (pronounced Budapesht) after the sun retreats is phenomenal.  Buda is on one side of the Danube River and Pest on the other.

Dogs can go into restaurants and water closets.

Coffee is served per half-cup.  Plenty of room for cream and sugar (I don’t use those).

Brie cheese was included with every morning breakfast.  I acquired a taste for cheese with breakfast.

There are armed guards in front of palaces and around the Hungarian jeweled crown, which had been guarded in the US for many years.

Vienna is paradise.  Time to pour a glass of wine.

You can walk the streets at night and feel safe in all of our locations…yet watch out for pick pockets.  My husband and I outsmarted the group of three studying us.  Yeah!

The Hapsburgs ruled all of Bavaria (all these countries and more) for 640 years.  The summer cottage is smaller than the winter palace.  They’re both palaces and I find that funny…the summer palace has about 1400 rooms.

A Viennese symphony concert in the king’s palace is outstanding. 

By the way, does anyone read or write about the Hapsburg reign?  I bought a book and it remains somewhere in Eastern Europe.   Along with the bookmark.

The shower in the Vienna hotel, the Renaissance, had a Renaissance print on the whole wall of the shower.  If I ever remodel my shower, I know what it will look like!

Austrian Alps are magnificent.  The lower mountains have not had snow on the caps for the last twelve years during summer.  First time in recorded history.

The Kleinstanhaus, Eagle’s Nest as named by American soldiers, is on top of a mountain and former home of Hitler.  An amazing piece of architecture and history.

I must say that the funny and fantastic local guide for Austria, Natasha, told us that the “N” word (Nazi) must never be used and never raise the arm in “Heil Hitler.”  You will be pummeled. 

Yodeling is easy.  Just say… Little old lady who, Little old lady who.  Yeah, right. Natasha told our group not to give up our day jobs. 

Hell, let’s have some more wine!

I think long distance flying sucks.  I’m not afraid and I don’t get sick.  It’s really hard to sit in one place for so long.  Alcohol affects me greatly, but I still can never sleep.  Each end of the trip resulted in being wide awake for 22-24 hours.  Bring a book or three.

I must leave this on a good note.  I love men with a European accent.  It makes them all sexy.  I think that’s part of the requirements for the waiters.  I have a picture of one.  Actually, I have 664 other pictures, but I won’t bore you as I did my mother. 

This trip has given me a "total feel" of writing books located in these countries.  I can't wait to get to them! 

I’m sure I left a lot out, but I hope you enjoyed my virtual tour!

Travel lots, travel safely, bring a book,

Dawn

BEWARE THE BIRD THAT POOPS LARGE!

Hey ya’all, how’s everyone doing this fine Friday morning?  It feels like I just blogged…oh wait, I did.  And yet, here I am again…just like a shiny new penny.  (It’s my story.  I can tell it however I want…and it doesn’t have to make sense.)  LOL

Okay, some of you are familiar with my stories about the animals out at my place.  I have a bunch…horses, dogs, the neighbor’s cats…and now the neighbor’s bird.  Yep, you read that right.  My neighbor has a pet bird that seems to have adopted me as part of his flock.

The bird is a mourning dove, and his name is Little Bird.  My neighbor, Dawn, rescued him as a baby and hand-raised him.  He now comes when she calls him for dinner, rides around on her head, and does his best to find out what you’ve got in your house.  I can’t leave the doors open, or the damn bird either walks or flies into the house.

Anyone walking around outside is fair game, too.  He loves to land on your head and go for a ride…particularly if you are eleven years old and blond!  My grandson loves Little Bird…I, on the other hand, am leery of allowing a bird to ride on my head.  They poop!

I was washing off the screened patio the other day and in he hopped, nosing around like he owned the joint.  So I gently sprayed him with the hose.  Do you think he freaked out and streaked out the door like his tail was on fire?  Nope.  He lifted a wing so I could wash underneath it.  Seriously?  Cheeky bird!

I have to be careful when I get in my truck these days because LB watches my house and as soon as I step outside, here he comes.  He’ll perch on the eaves of the house and coo at me, or on my head if I’m not quick enough getting into the truck.  The other day, I spotted him coming my way and I hurried into the truck.  Seeing that I’d restricted his ability to score a ride on my head, he landed on the top of the open door.  Now I couldn’t shut the door until he left.  So I started to shoo him, but he’s apparently not afraid of me—even when I’m waving my hands and pushing him backwards.  I tried to warn him that he was forcing me to pinch his little toes in the door, but he ignored the warning.  I finally had to catch him and carry him to an orange tree, where he sat cooing at me.

This morning, I tried to get in the truck and there he was.  This time I got the door closed, so he landed on top of the truck.  Do I drive off and leave him to figure out that he needs to get off?  No, I can’t do it.  So I back up real fast and hit the brakes, hoping to see him fly off.  Nothing.  So I get out of the truck and he’s gone…then I hear him cooing from the roof of the house.  Time to jet before we have to repeat the process.  So off I go, keeping one eye on the rearview mirror, just in case stalker Little Bird decides to come after me.

You’d think the little guy would be less stalker-ish, since he himself has a stalker.  I noticed another dove chasing and dive-bombing LB.  When I asked the neighbor about it, she replied, “That’s a Bully Bird.”  Perfect!  So I have a stalker, and my stalker has a bully stalker.  Wonder if there is a bird class on how to deal with bullies.  In any case, poor Little Bird is now missing half his tail feathers and flies with a list due to the lack of a proper rudder.  I'm guessing SB got to LB, and now has feathers nailed to the wall of his nest--a shrine to his arch nemesis.

So…here I sit out on the farm with horses, dogs, a rat-killing duck, and a stalker dove.  Situation Normal at my place…Weirdness Reigns!  But I’m having that family reunion on Saturday…Aunt Millie and Uncle Elmer better stay sober or they’re gonna find themselves covered in dove poop.  And this bird can really poop.  He pooped on the window of my truck one day and my son accused me of raising Pterodactyls. 

Well, that’s my story, birdie and bonkers, and I’m stickin’ to it.  Hang on tight now, cuz’ we’re gonna go real, real fast!

Love Ya,

Kayce

A Romance Author's Vacation...Part III

As is tradition here on HEAT, an author speaks on Sundays with a giveaway!  Leave me a comment or a curious question and you’ll be in the running for an e-book of Inked (From the CIA 1)!

On with the journey of the United Kingdom!

After we traversed the lowlands and skirted the highlands of Scotland, a ferry scooted us across the North Channel between the Irish Sea and North Atlantic Ocean.  Sounds cold and frigid talking about deep waters and when I leaned over the edge of the ferry – had to do it – the churning waters below were mesmerizing.  I might have to kill someone in the waters in the next book!

Our next stop was Belfast, Northern Ireland.  Expecting to see destructed areas from the war with the IRA during the Troubles, instead we crossed a maintained and recreated city. 

We stopped at the Titanic Museum.  Really?  A museum built to honor the failure of what was supposed to be THE unsinkable ship of the times.  Okay, the story behind the museum is when the love story “The Titanic” was filmed and made oodles of money, Belfast, where the ship was built, wanted in on the cash. 

Let’s get back to the brilliant green pastures where we encountered a horse ranch, a very special ranch, The Irish National Stud.   This ranch is home of highly bred racing horses that have run the Kentucky Derby, English Derby, and other well-known races.  Owners pay some hefty fees to mate their mares with the handsome, sleek, and fast studs.

The ranch uses “Tommy the Teaser,” a tempting stud, to assure the mares are ready to mate with the paid for stud.  Prices range from 6,000 euros to a million euros for mating.  A euro is approximately $1.48 (when I was there) and constantly is in flux.

Attached to the ranch is a Japanese garden.  The garden is full of orchids, maples, streams, sculptures, and words of wisdom.  One of my Aussie friends decided to grab a piece of a statue, right between the legs…maybe she needs to read a romance

Time for a sip of Irish Scotch and a few hours of sleep before we continue.

Create an adventure and do something different!

Dawn 

Book Signing This Weekend!

Hi y'all...how's everyone doing this good Friday morning?  Hope everyone is wonderful, fabulous, and outrageous and that you all have a big, fun weekend planned!  But just in case you don't, go check out the website for Arizona's Ultimate Women's EXPO, which will be held at the Phoenix Convention Center in downtown Phoenix. 

There will be fabulous booths and displays, and some wonderful keynote speakers!

Just follow this link for lots more information on seminars, speakers, and products...http://azwomensexpo.com/home


And for those of you who just can't get your hands on enough books, The Write Authors will also be there signing all of their fabulous books.  So come see...


                              Lizzie Bella
                              Carolyn Hughey / K.T. Roberts
                              Kayce Lassiter                                     (WooHoo...that's me!)
                              Taylor Michaels
                              H.D. Thomson
                              Arabella Thorne
                              Tami Vinson


So pack the kiddies off to the babysitter, grab your car keys, and come join us for some super fun.  I also heard a rumor there will be a Martini booth...yeah, baby...that's what I'm talkin' about!


That's my story, fun and fabulous, and I'm stickin' to it!  So hang on real tight now, 'cuz we're gonna go real, real fast!


Love ya,


Kayce
         


         

April Already

Oh my gosh! It’s April already! How did that happen? Seems like yesterday it was just January, doesn’t it? Time sure seems to fly when there’s so much to do. Indeed, this past week feels like a blur. So what happened to make my time just whirl by?

Well, the usual stuff….book signings and writer’s meetings and work and writing (or trying to). Well, just life in general, I suppose, but some things really stand out. Like….

Very dear friends of mine got married! Yup! Married! And I can’t think of a couple who love each other more. Lovely ceremony too which got me to thinking (as a writer, I’m always thinking about new stories, new characters, new scenes), but I digress.

The other thing that made this week go by so quickly? My DH received the nicest surprise for his birthday. Our son flew in from Dallas to spend the weekend with him (yes, I was in on this surprise. We’ve actually been planning it since January. I’m very good at keeping secrets!).

And the busy-ness doesn’t end there. The Desert Dreams conference is this Friday (I know! This Friday!) and I’m so looking forward to it (actually, I’ve been looking forward to it since the last conference!). I’ve written about this particular conference before. It’s one of my favorites. This will be my seventh time attending and I can’t wait to see everyone…I will try to behave myself this time and not go all Fan Girl on anyone. Luckily for me, authors are a unique (and forgiving) group of individuals.

I still need to pack, I still need to finish cleaning my house and get my guest room ready for company after the conference so I should be vacuuming or dusting...or something. Leaving you all with this lovely picture of a beautiful sunset…..maybe if I look at it long enough, I might be able to draw a breath…at least until Friday when I meet all those wonderful authors at the conference.

What about you all? What’s been keeping you busy? Have you found any time to read?

As always, happy reading!

Marie

Have I Read This Before?

     I don’t know about you, but I have a problem…Wait! Don’t laugh! I’m serious! Okay, let me explain while you wipe the tears of laughter from your eyes…..my problem is…books.  I should rephrase….my problem is buying a book I’ve already purchased. And maybe even read already. Now, I can’t be the only one. Can I?

           

     Recently, I went through my bookshelf because there were so many books in there that I couldn’t possibly fit another one and I realized I had doubles of several books. Much more embarrassing? I had triples of three different romances. How could I have done this?

     Well, it’s simple really. I read so much (and several books at once), that I will occasionally forget. Or, and this happens quite often, I have purchased the book and put it in one of my TBR piles but haven’t gotten that far in the pile so when I see a striking cover on the rack at my local grocery store, I’ll buy it then come home and put it in the TBR pile….vicious cycle, isn’t it? This does not happen with Kindle. If you attempt to purchase a title again, Amazon very kindly tells you you’ve already done so and isn’t that nice?

     So what’s your solution to avoid having doubles and triples on your shelves? Do you keep a list stashed somewhere? Written in a notebook or perhaps you have a spreadsheet on your computer, which is actually a really good idea and I should start mine today and why haven’t I done that before?

As always, happy reading!

Marie

Offline or Online Shopping for Books?

My name is Lexi Post and I despise shopping. I admit it. I know, strange but it’s true. I can’t stand going into stores to try on clothes, or look for just the right gift, or find a new author to read. Oh, but don’t get me wrong, I love to do all those things. I just prefer to do them online :-)

Honestly, with offline shopping, my feet get tired, I develop a terrible thirst, and I have to avoid rush hour traffic so my time is limited. In fact, I dislike it so much that it wasn’t until this Monday that I finally made myself go into a clothing store and shop after a decade of not shopping for clothes in stores. Granted, I hadn’t shopped for new clothes online either in over six years, so I didn’t even know what size I wore anymore or what styles might look good. It took me three hours! I bought 3 pairs of jeans, 2 skirts, 4 tops, and a wrap for a total of $116. Now that’s my kind of shopping, if it had been online. 

So what about book shopping? Okay, granted, there is nothing like going into an independent bookstore or Barnes & Noble and buying a hot chai as one peruses the colorful array of romance novels in every sub-genre possible. There is just something about being around books that fills the soul. They’re like old friends. And about once a year, I enjoy that little experience.

However, it is online shopping for me, in general, and for books in particular. The first reason is I live on a Caribbean island and though our one bookstore does have a romance section, (highly influenced by me), it is small. So to really get the breadth of authors I like, I need to go online anyway.  Plus, when books are shipped, they get here faster than me traveling across the island to where the bookstore is! Mainly because to save gas, I don’t go over to that side of the island unless I have multiple things to do there.

Another plus for online shopping is the option to buy electronic books which I read while on the treadmill. They are the only incentive that gets me on the @#$% thing :-} Since my debut book Masque is only in ebook right now, I’m am very pleased that people can buy my book online ;-) I don’t know about you, but I buy lots of books online. Just trying to keep up with all my friends’ books is a challenge, but with easy access online, it makes it fun to shop for their books.

Which do you prefer?  Do you like to go into a store and surround yourself with physical books before buying, or do you prefer to sit at your computer and click away?

Always,

Lexi