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Friday, June 10, 2016

Eating Himself Out Of House and Home!

Hey guys, how ya’all doin?  I’m good…thanks for asking!  So, today we’re gonna talk about one of my favorite subjects…misbehaving dogs.  Yep, everyone who’s ever had a dog has had one of these.  You know the ones…cute, sweet, loyal, loving, and the devil in disguise when you step out the door for a quick run to the supermarket.

Okay, I got a new dog last November (day before Thanksgiving), and I’m still wondering WHY?  He came to me with the name Hulk.  Seriously?  Who names a doxie–lab cross Hulk?  His legs are about two inches long, and his body is about a two-footer!  Anyway, I couldn’t live with the name, so I renamed him to Riley.  Nice name, seemed to suit him at the time.  But now I’m thinking perhaps Jaws would have been more appropriate.  The dog chews everything!  In fact, he’s literally eating himself out of house and home…and the other 2 dogs are none too happy about it either.

Riley is probably the happiest dog I’ve ever owned.  He loves to run and play with the other dogs, bark at the duck and the horses, bounce off of mom’s butt when she bends over to put food in his dish, and do a little home remodeling—especially those snug doorways that need to be enlarged. In fact, here is a before and after picture of Riley’s remodeling work.

Nice, huh?  And yes, that is Riley showing off his remodeling rskills.  You can see the debris on the ground...chew toys, a rawhide bone, 2 rawhide bone pieces, and a log he pulled off the tree.  You can also see that the tree is trimmed to the height Riley can reach.  Can you say BAD DOG?!

Yeah, good thing there are 2 dog houses in the dog run, or the dogs would be swimming when it rains.  At least this way, they have a second house to move into when it starts to rain…because the remodeled one won’t keep anyone dry.  And you should see how the other two dogs scowl at Riley when they have to make a break in the rain for the dry dog house.  In fact, we’re starting to refer to it as the summer home…open and airy.

So when I decided to write this blog, I went out to the internet to see what other dogs were chewing.  I came up with some pretty amazing stuff—stuff like…

·   One dog ate the nose off a rubber ducky…and it wasn’t his toy.
·   Another one chewed a bottle of blue nail polish on his mom’s brand new comforter.
·   Then there was the spendthrift who “blew the wad” and chewed up $170.
·   An empty beer can fell victim to a dog who must have had steel teeth.
·   3 mobile phones.  Seriously?  Yep, same dog chewed all 3 phones!  I’d have to try to call them…don’t lie…you know you would too!!!
·   One independent and ambitious guy opened the freezer and ate an entire frozen turkey.
·   Tube of super glue.  Okay, I’ve actually done this…it doesn’t end well!
·    Chewed false teeth.  This one stunned me.  I thought my mother was the only person on the planet whose dentures had fallen victim to a canine chew caper.  Well, maybe she’s the only person on the planet to have this happen 3 times.
·   Christmas tree tinsel.  Yeah, I had a cat who used to do this…had to quit decorating the lower 1/3 of the tree.  It was either that or continue to freak out every time the cat walked by with tinsel hanging out of her butt.  Not pretty!
·  Then there is the proverbial underwear thief…this one seems to be a really popular theme.
So, given my research, it doesn’t seem that Riley eating himself out of house and home is all that unusual.  Dogs everywhere are finding more and more creative ways to entertain themselves.  And dog owners everywhere are finding more and more creative ways to shame their dogs.  I thought about making up a sign to hang around Riley’s neck, but I’m pretty sure he’d eat it.

So I’ll just continue to buy rawhide bones in five-packs every week and hope it at least slows the little monster down.  I actually saw him chewing on a log the other day.  Oh, and did I mention he’s been hard at work trimming the Mulberry tree?  Hmmm…maybe I should put him to work on the mesquite!

That’s my story, crazy and chewy, and I’m stickin’ to it.  (At least until Riley eats it.)  So hang on tight now, ‘cuz we’re gonna go real, real fast!

Love ya,



  1. My sister's dog was like that for the first few years... chewed her trees and shrubs, ate through a hose, chewed up all toys he was given even those so called tough to chew toys... chewed up his bowls, a huge dog pillow and more... he finally has calmed down and only eats his food and treats.

  2. I CANNOT wait for that day! Let's hope it comes before he's completely homeless!

  3. Wonder if you should just stack a bunch of logs in there - you know, firewood, and just let him go at it...LOL! Talk about some fiber in his diet...snerk!

    We used to have a Westhighland White Terrier back when we lived on some acreage. She was like a goat - ate everything! Including an entire car tire that was tossed out in the depths of our back yard and overgrown with grass and gunk... The metal wheel well part even had teeth marks all over it when we found it. My brother figured it out when the dog pooped on the porch and there was a big chunk of tire in it you could still see some letters on the side of...EEP! We called the vet, freaked out, he laughed and told us Westies had steel-plated stomachs, wouldn't hurt her...and he was right :)

  4. I feel for you! I have a youngster- turned 2 this week- who likes to keep her chompers moving. Nothing original for her just blankets and pillows are her fav. Oh, and baby bunnies. That was horrible- she thought it was very tasty.
    BTW, I like your new photo:)