For those of you who live in the Phoenix area, be sure you mark your calendars to come see me at the Chocolate Affaire in Glendale on February 5-7th. I will be signing each of those days and am really working hard to have some print copies of One Dog Too Many available to sell. Would love to see you there!
Oh, and...shhhh...there is another project that the BMG's are working on that's sooo exciting. I can't tell you about that just yet, but keep your eyes peeled...the announcement will be out any day now.
Woo Hoo! 2016 is gonna be a F-U-N year!
Okay, so to whet your whistle for my upcoming release, below is an excerpt from One Dog Too Many. I hope you enjoy it!
That's my story, exciting and ecstatic, and I'm stickin' to it. Hang on tight now 'cuz we're gonna go real, real fast!
Excerpt…One Dog Too Many
“Well, you can kiss my ass, you flop-footed Fairy.” Delta’s hands were fisted at her sides and her southern accent flowed like thick molasses. The madder she got, the thicker her accent became.
“Mark the spot.” Call Montgomery’s disembodied voice reverberated across the porch.
Delta unbuttoned her jeans and dropped the back of them a few inches to expose the pair of lips she had tattooed on her ass. “Is that clear enough for you? Or do you need a roadmap too?”
Call’s baritone laugh rumbled the floorboards. “Yeah, that’s good. It’s been a while since I’ve seen that tattoo. I just wanted to make sure it was still there.”
She pulled her pants up and began to zip them as she stomped her foot on the wooden planks. “I was making love matches in these families way before you landed your gravy job as a manager. Matchmaking out here in the trenches is tough. You should try it sometime.”
Delta’s battle with her boss never seemed to end. It pissed her off when he interfered.
Why is it managers never understand how much effort it takes a fairy godmother to make two people fall in love? It ain’t easy, that’s for sure.
“Working one match at a time with these hard-headed Arizona ranchers is a challenge no one but me has ever been able to handle well. That’s why they gave me these clans in the first place. To make two matches at a time with these people is damned impossible—even for me.”
“Delta, calm down.” The disembodied voice of her boss only threw fuel on the fire.
When she slammed her hand against the porch post, orange sparks flew from her fingertips. “I am calm. You can’t give me two cases at once.”
Bubba Ray, Delta’s brother and fairy failure extraordinaire, sidled away from her toward the front door of the small ranch house where they were staying in Hawkins Flat, Arizona. He couldn’t handle conflict, and was clearly afraid of getting caught in the crossfire.
As a kid, he’d break out in a rash if Delta even looked at him cross-eyed. And here he was at the fairy age of forty-two, which was the equivalent of three-hundred-thirty in human years, and he was still shaking in his boots every time she had words with the boss.
What a wimp.
She shook her head at the image he made in a dark pink straw hat, a pink short-sleeve John Deere T-shirt under pink camo overall shorts, and raspberry-colored cowboy boots.
Delta returned her attention to the battle at hand. “Call Montgomery, if you’re so damn smart, why aren’t you out here working your ass off to make these matches? You need to worry less about your spreadsheets and budget numbers, and more about saving the lives of these innocent little glimmers.”
“Enough.” The baritone voice reverberated across the porch and lightning crackled overhead.
That Son-Of-A-Buck never bothers to show up in person. He just pops into our heads or barks out orders remotely and expects us to drop everything and do his bidding. He’s my boss, not my creator.
“Oh no, I’m just getting started.” Delta’s anger surged as she shook her fist above her head. “You’ve got me to do your dirty work, so your hands stay clean. I’ll bet you have a color-coordinated pocket protector clipped to every set of tights hanging in your closet.”
Another bolt of lightning flashed across the sky with enough electricity to make Delta’s hair stand straight out. She groaned as she slid her gaze from side to side, and all she could see was a four-foot cloud of dark orange tresses, which she had magically dyed to match today’s outfit. Her entire body vibrated like a bed in a no-tell motel.
The trailing clap of thunder was loud enough to make Bubba Ray flop to the ground like a bright pink fish out of water, quivering and whimpering, with his face pressed into his hands.
“Very funny.” Delta pawed at the cloud of hair as wind blew it in her face and static electricity crackled all around her. She lifted her cowgirl hat and re-seated it on her head, trying to contain her wild hair. “Stupid parlor tricks and lame light shows don’t scare me, mister.”
Wind blasted her face.
“Shit.” Delta blinked and spit out hair as she struggled to gather her long, curly locks into one hand. “Dammit, Bubba Ray. Get up, you idiot. You know he’s nothing but hot air and bluff.”
Frustration roared inside Delta like a fire-breathing dragon setting flame to her gut. The boss always reverted to thunder and lightning when he wanted to intimidate her. It did nothing but piss her off and scare the bejeebies out of Bubba Ray.
She ground her teeth and stretched upright trying to ease the burn in her stomach as she reined in the urge to give her brother a good, hard tap with the toe of her pointed orange snakeskin cowgirl boots.
“Bubba Ray, get up. That Son-Of-A-Buck isn’t gonna hurt you. He’s trying to scare me into taking on two cases to make him look good.”
She shook her fist again. “And it is not going to work, mister. You order two glimmers at once and I will kick your skinny little fairy ass from here to Georgia. It can’t be done. So quit with the lightning.” She patted her frizzed-out hair. “It’s ruining my do.”
A silence descended, so profound it rocked Delta on her heels as the wind stopped and her hair fell around her shoulders. Nothing moved. Nothing made a sound—no birds chirped in the trees, no horses whinnied in the pasture, not a single dog barked in the distance. Not even a hint of sound from Bubba Ray as he breathed heavily and struggled to rise.
Realization slammed into Delta like a freight train and she drew in a slow, deep breath.
He’s already done it. That idiot has ordered two glimmers at the same time.
Delta’s heart pounded and she slumped into the rocking chair next to the front door. “Damn you.” The life of two glimmers now depended on her resourcefulness. “How the hell am I going to keep two glimmers alive?”
No fairy godmother as far back as she could remember had ever worked two cases at once. The risk was too high, especially with stubborn families like the ones in her portfolio.
When the dog appeared, the glimmer attached to the collar was the spirit of a baby waiting to be born to that woman. The glimmer acted like a roadmap to find the right man. If the FGM didn’t make the match in time, the glimmer died, and the baby would never be born.
She looked out across the pastures and raised her right hand to her head, massaging her temple with her fingers. “Why risk the life of two glimmers by doubling my workload?”
“I didn’t order them. The two dogs just showed up on the institute’s doorstep. It seems to be the big guy’s idea.”
Her boss’s voice held a note of concern for a change, and maybe just a hint of frustration.
Is he getting soft? Growing a heart, maybe?
“But two separate cases?” She couldn’t get her head around it. “I’m not Super Woman. These aren’t Italians. They don’t fall in love at the drop of a hat. To do two matches at once with these tough ranch families is insane.”
“Delta, you’re better than you know. If anyone can pull this off, it’s you.”
A lump lodged in her throat at the unexpected compliment. “I damn sure hope you’re right—for the sake of those babies.”