For those of you who live in the Phoenix area, be sure you mark your calendars to come see me at the Chocolate Affaire in Glendale on February 5-7th. I will be signing each of those days and am really working hard to have some print copies of One Dog Too Many available to sell. Would love to see you there!
Oh, and...shhhh...there is another project that the BMG's are working on that's sooo exciting. I can't tell you about that just yet, but keep your eyes peeled...the announcement will be out any day now.
Woo Hoo! 2016 is gonna be a F-U-N year!
Okay, so to whet your whistle for my upcoming release, below is an excerpt from One Dog Too Many. I hope you enjoy it!
That's my story, exciting and ecstatic, and I'm stickin' to it. Hang on tight now 'cuz we're gonna go real, real fast!
Love ya,
Kayce
Excerpt…One
Dog Too Many
By
Kayce
Lassiter
“Well, you can kiss my ass, you flop-footed Fairy.”
Delta’s hands were fisted at her sides and her southern accent flowed like
thick molasses. The madder she got, the thicker her accent became.
“Mark the spot.” Call Montgomery’s disembodied
voice reverberated across the porch.
Delta unbuttoned her jeans and dropped the back of
them a few inches to expose the pair of lips she had tattooed on her ass. “Is that clear enough for you? Or do you need a roadmap too?”
Call’s baritone laugh rumbled the floorboards.
“Yeah, that’s good. It’s been a while since I’ve seen that tattoo. I just
wanted to make sure it was still there.”
She pulled her pants up and began to zip them as
she stomped her foot on the wooden planks. “I was making love matches in these
families way before you landed your gravy job as a manager. Matchmaking out
here in the trenches is tough. You should try it sometime.”
Delta’s battle with her boss never seemed to end.
It pissed her off when he interfered.
Why
is it managers never understand how much effort it takes a fairy godmother to
make two people fall in love? It ain’t easy, that’s for sure.
“Working one match at a time with these hard-headed
Arizona ranchers is a challenge no one but me has ever been able to handle
well. That’s why they gave me these clans in the first place. To make two
matches at a time with these people is damned impossible—even for me.”
“Delta, calm down.”
The disembodied voice of her boss only threw fuel on the fire.
When she slammed her hand against the porch post, orange
sparks flew from her fingertips. “I am calm. You can’t give me two cases at
once.”
Bubba Ray, Delta’s brother and fairy failure
extraordinaire, sidled away from her toward the front door of the small ranch
house where they were staying in Hawkins Flat, Arizona. He couldn’t handle
conflict, and was clearly afraid of getting caught in the crossfire.
As a kid, he’d break out in a rash if Delta even
looked at him cross-eyed. And here he was at the fairy age of forty-two, which
was the equivalent of three-hundred-thirty in human years, and he was still
shaking in his boots every time she had words with the boss.
What
a wimp.
She shook her head at the image he made in a dark
pink straw hat, a pink short-sleeve John Deere T-shirt under pink camo overall
shorts, and raspberry-colored cowboy boots.
Delta returned her attention to the battle at hand.
“Call Montgomery, if you’re so damn smart, why aren’t you out here working your
ass off to make these matches? You need to worry less about your spreadsheets
and budget numbers, and more about saving the lives of these innocent little
glimmers.”
“Enough.”
The baritone voice reverberated across the porch and lightning crackled
overhead.
That
Son-Of-A-Buck never bothers to show up in person. He just pops into our heads
or barks out orders remotely and expects us to drop everything and do his
bidding. He’s my boss, not my creator.
“Oh no, I’m just getting started.” Delta’s anger surged as she shook her fist
above her head. “You’ve got me to do your dirty work, so your hands stay clean.
I’ll bet you have a color-coordinated pocket protector clipped to every set of
tights hanging in your closet.”
Another bolt of lightning flashed across the sky
with enough electricity to make Delta’s hair stand straight out. She groaned as
she slid her gaze from side to side, and all she could see was a four-foot
cloud of dark orange tresses, which she had magically dyed to match today’s
outfit. Her entire body vibrated like a bed in a no-tell motel.
The trailing clap of thunder was loud enough to
make Bubba Ray flop to the ground like a bright pink fish out of water,
quivering and whimpering, with his face pressed into his hands.
“Very funny.”
Delta pawed at the cloud of hair as wind blew it in her face and static
electricity crackled all around her. She lifted her cowgirl hat and re-seated
it on her head, trying to contain her wild hair. “Stupid parlor tricks and lame
light shows don’t scare me, mister.”
Wind blasted her face.
“Shit.”
Delta blinked and spit out hair as she struggled to gather her long,
curly locks into one hand. “Dammit, Bubba Ray. Get up, you idiot. You know he’s
nothing but hot air and bluff.”
Frustration roared inside Delta like a
fire-breathing dragon setting flame to her gut. The boss always reverted to
thunder and lightning when he wanted to intimidate her. It did nothing but piss
her off and scare the bejeebies out of Bubba Ray.
She ground her teeth and stretched upright trying
to ease the burn in her stomach as she reined in the urge to give her brother a
good, hard tap with the toe of her pointed orange snakeskin cowgirl boots.
“Bubba Ray, get up. That Son-Of-A-Buck isn’t gonna
hurt you. He’s trying to scare me into taking on two cases to make him look
good.”
She shook her fist again. “And it is not going to
work, mister. You order two glimmers at once and I will kick your skinny little
fairy ass from here to Georgia. It can’t be done. So quit with the lightning.” She patted her frizzed-out hair. “It’s ruining my do.”
A silence descended, so profound it rocked Delta on
her heels as the wind stopped and her hair fell around her shoulders. Nothing
moved. Nothing made a sound—no birds chirped in the trees, no horses whinnied
in the pasture, not a single dog barked in the distance. Not even a hint of sound from Bubba Ray as he
breathed heavily and struggled to rise.
Realization slammed into Delta like a freight train
and she drew in a slow, deep breath.
He’s
already done it. That idiot has ordered two glimmers at the same time.
Delta’s heart pounded and she slumped into the
rocking chair next to the front door. “Damn you.” The life of two glimmers now
depended on her resourcefulness. “How the hell am I going to keep two glimmers
alive?”
No fairy godmother as far back as she could
remember had ever worked two cases at once. The risk was too high, especially
with stubborn families like the ones in her portfolio.
When the dog appeared, the glimmer attached to the
collar was the spirit of a baby waiting to be born to that woman. The glimmer
acted like a roadmap to find the right man. If the FGM didn’t make the match in
time, the glimmer died, and the baby would never be born.
She looked out across the pastures and raised her
right hand to her head, massaging her temple with her fingers. “Why risk the
life of two glimmers by doubling my workload?”
“I didn’t order them. The two dogs just showed up
on the institute’s doorstep. It seems to be the big guy’s idea.”
Her boss’s voice held a note of concern for a
change, and maybe just a hint of frustration.
Is
he getting soft? Growing a heart, maybe?
“But two separate cases?” She couldn’t get her head
around it. “I’m not Super Woman. These aren’t Italians. They don’t fall in love
at the drop of a hat. To do two matches at once with these tough ranch families
is insane.”
“Delta,
you’re better than you know. If anyone can pull this off, it’s you.”
A lump lodged in her throat at the unexpected
compliment. “I damn sure hope you’re right—for the sake of those babies.”
