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Friday, March 28, 2014

Pickup Lines–Do They Work?

Hi guys!  Good to see you again.  Well, here it is blog day and once again Kayce spent her Thursday night trolling the internet for a blog topic.  And while trolling on the internet, I came across some pickup lines, so I thought you might enjoy some of the absolute jewels I managed to find.  There are sweet ones, weird ones, cute ones, creepy ones, lines that you hope will never work, and lines that just might.  So pick out your fav’s and least fav’s and let me know what you think. 

This first one seemed strange until I thought it through.
  • I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.
I’m thinking that’s not the real reason.  My mother warned me about wearing patent leather shoes!

The next two are for those who are hungry…
  • Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!
  • Hershey's makes millions of kisses a day…all I'm asking for is one from you.  (Awhhh)
Not exactly the smoothest or the most creative, but there is a promise of food…and kisses.  Don’t forget the kisses.  :-)

Here’s another one I hadn’t heard before…
  • You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?
Okay, I’ll have to think about that one.  I was going to dis it, but when I read it out loud, I found it actually had merit.  Can I get back to you on that?

Men, please don’t try this out in public.  You might get away with it at home, though.
  • I'm not staring at your boobs. I'm staring at your heart.
Sure you are…and if you aren’t careful, the tip of my…uh…left heart is going to put your eye out!

These next lines are quite possibly the worst ever!  There is no way in hell that body parts or bodily functions belong in a pickup line.  These rank right up there with proposing to a woman by peeing your proposal in the snow.
  • If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
  • My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
  • Did you fart, ‘cause you blew me away.
  • Hey...somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
Farts and diarrhea come eventually in every love affair, but please don’t use these to kick-start a new relationship.  I think it’s an automatic defense for murder.

These next three would require a certain kind of girl…probably the kind you couldn’t take home to mom.  J
  • Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
  • If you were a transformer, you'd be a HOT-obot, and your name would be Optimus Fine.
  • Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?
Oh wait…no, I think that last one got lumped into the wrong grouping…that one’s kinda creepy.  Kick that one to the curb.  No pickup line should ever include the word chloroform…it’s just plain wrong.

This next set of pickup lines might actually work.  They range from clever to sweet.  I’d fall for any one of these as long as the guy wasn’t a troll.
  • If I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
  • I bet you $20 you're gonna turn me down.  (If you’re like me, you’ll have to think this one through.)
  • You see my friend over there? [Point to friend] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
  • I'm sorry, were you talking to me? [No] Well then, please start.
  • When God made you, he was showing off.
  • Because of you, I laugh a little harder, cry a little less, and smile a lot more.
  • You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.     (Winner!)
  • There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it.
And these three are definite winners!
  • I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true.
  • I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
  • If I had to choose between breathing or loving you, I would say "I love you" with my last breath!
What woman doesn’t long to be the happiest woman on earth?  What woman doesn’t hope that one day all her dreams will come true?  And what woman doesn’t want a man who will love her until his last breath?  After all, that’s why we write books.  Men – take notes!
  • Are you a campfire? Cause you are hot and I want s'more.
Okay, so that one reminds me of a Butterscotch Martini Girls night on the town.  You’ve never lived until you’ve gone to a cowboy bar to ogle cowboy butts and eat s’mores, followed by a field trip to the adult toy store with that crew!  LOL

These next two are actually some of my favorites, but it takes the right kind of guy to deliver these lines.  He has to be tall and handsome and suave…or she might actually end up with his money!
  • Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?  (I actually think this one is fabulous!  LOL)
  • I'm not actually this tall.  I'm sitting on my wallet. 
See what I mean about how those have to come from the right guy?  Anything less than perfection and the tide turns to pathetic and he’s toast…and she’s got the money.

And here are the slightly desperate, but just enough that they might work…
  • Life without you would be like a broken pencil...pointless.
  • Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?
  • Be unique and different, say yes.      (This one turns fabulous if he’s fabulous.)
  • Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES!      (And then run like the wind!)
Okay, girls, I’ gonna warn you here…DO NOT fall for any of these…please…
  • Is your last name Gillette?  Because you are the best a man can get.
  • Is your name "Swiffer"?  'Cause you just swept me off my feet.
  • Do you work at Dick's?  ‘Cause you're sporting the goods.
  • I'm Mr. Right.  Someone said you were looking for me?
  • Is your last name Campbell? Cause you're "mmmm... good!"
You fall for any one of those lines, you marry the guy…and that’s the one that’s gonna buy you vacuum cleaners, toasters, mops and cleaning supplies for Christmas.  Maybe even a set of left-handed golf clubs…and you’re not even left-handed…he is.  RUN!

This next one will work only because it will take you by surprise and make you laugh out loud.
  • I'm not trying to impress you or anything, but...I'm Batman!
And for the rednecks out there…
  • Baby, you are so fine I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit.
Sigh!  Okay, I love “redneck”, but that one is a little too redneck—even for me.  Best let this one stay in the closet.  The girl that falls for this one is probably riding an elevator that doesn’t go all the way to the top.

Okay, this one is just ugly and can be taken so many different ways…guys, DON’T DO IT!
  • Are you a beaver?  ‘Cause daaaaam!
I told you so…that one ain’t gonna end well.

Now, I think it’s time for my absolute favorite.  This one is extremely flattering and has just the right twist of humor without the cheesy crap…
  • My buddies bet me that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the bar.  Wanna buy some drinks with their money?
And you’re in for a free drink…how can either of you lose with that one?!

Okay, what’s your worst or best pickup line?  We’d all love to hear it!  And what we really want to know is…did it work?

That’s my story, sad and sassy, and I’m stickin’ to it.  Hold on tight now ‘cuz we’re gonna go real, real fast!

Love ya,



  1. Great post! Sorry, I don't have any pickup lines. Met hubby when I was merely a teen so...But I agree with your favorite. Like any line, though, it has to come from a guy you have some interest in. (The fact is that studies have shown that guys - in general- don't approach unless they get some kind of a signal from the girl. Not that guys will admit that.) :)

    1. I've conducted my own study and I think you're right, Carly. And once again...we have to do the heavy lifting in the relationship. LOL Kidding. (sorta) I've actually run into one or two guys who weren't all that cute initially but were just funny enough to be able to deliver a really stupid, cheesy pickup line in such a way that it actually made them cuter. Not sure what that says about that I think about it! Hmmm...

  2. I think I like the Batman

  3. Yeppir, I did too. That one would have gotten major points for humor.